What if you and your partner have different ideas about what your shared income should be spent on? When you are about to spend money on something your partner doesn’t think is important:
- Pause and consider them. You may decide not to spend the money.
- Discuss it with your partner. If they agree that you can spend the money, thank them. Ex. “I know that having the sports channel is not important to you, but it is important to me. Thanks for supporting me in getting it.” The worst thing you can do is spend the money without your partner being on board.
- See if there is something you are willing to go without.
- Reciprocate by agreeing to let your partner spend money on something you don’t think is important. But don’t do this very often as it will break your budget.
When your partner is about to spend money on something you don’t think is important:
- Find out why they want to spend money on it. This will help you understand your partner better. Ex. “Even though I don’t think you need another pair of shoes, I value your happiness. Tell me why these shoes are so important to you.”
- Talk it over. “I know you want those shoes. Given our current debt, is this really necessary now?” Or, “If you get them, where do you think we should cut back?”
- Respond generously. This is a chance to show you love them. Ex. “We can’t afford both your shoes and my golf game this weekend. I’ll put my golf game off until next month to balance our budget.”